How Joan of Arc stopped cooking and started fighting for England

The year is 1429 and Joan of Arc is sitting in her small cottage in the village of Domrémy. Instead of thinking about visions from the angels, she is faced with a far more mundane challenge: "What to cook for dinner tonight?" French cuisine may be world-famous, but for Jana it's an endless marathon of stews, sauces and multi-course feasts. Every night the same story: starter, main course, dessert, cheese... she's had enough.

One day, Jana slams her cooking pot on the table. "Enough cooking!" she exclaims. "Why should I spend my life in the kitchen? And to cook for brothers who can't even say thank you?" He decides to change his fate.

Coincidentally, an English delegation was passing through her village that evening. The English had just fought the French in the Hundred Years' War, but they had a problem - their own cooks had fled back to London because none of the soldiers appreciated their boiled porridge. When they learned that Jana was a cook, they immediately offered her a job. But Jana remembered her decision and replied:

"I won't cook for you, but if you let me lead your army, I'll go with you!"

The commanders looked at each other and began to laugh. "Woman, what will lead our army? What a joke!" But when Jana threw away her apron, picked up her sword, and stabbed an apple exactly one meter away, they immediately changed their minds.

Jany's Secret Mission

Once Jana joined the English forces, she proved to be a born strategist. For example, she suggested that instead of the traditional attack at dawn, the English should attack at dinner when the French were busy with their starters. Her plan worked perfectly. The French were so distracted by tasting snails and seasoning baguettes that they were completely unprepared for the English attacks.

Moreover, Joan had come up with a revolutionary idea to simplify the military supplies. Instead of complicated French meals, she introduced a simple diet: English cakes, biscuits and tea. Although the soldiers grumbled at first, after a few weeks they liked her straightforward approach.

French retaliation

The French commanders were horrified. "How is it possible that we are being defeated by our own nationals!" After several defeats, they decided to send their best cook to persuade Jana to return. This man, known as "Master Croissant," snuck into the English camp and brought Jana freshly baked bread and butter and chocolate cake.

When Jana tasted the first bite, she hesitated for a moment. She thought about returning to France, where she could reign not only as a warrior but also as the queen of French cuisine. But in the end, she chose her new destiny. "Master Croissant, don't try this on me. I'm not going back to the kitchen!" she declared, sending him back empty-handed.

Historic victory

Thanks to Jane's innovative ideas and unwavering will, the English managed to win a decisive victory. Jane became a legend not only on the battlefield, but in English history.

And what happened to her brothers? They had to start cooking for themselves, and once they burned the soup, they finally understood what wonders Joan could do.

The moral of the story? Never underestimate a woman who decides to put down the stove and pick up a sword. Or at least stop making dinner.